


Hello darkness my old friend.

by AAW



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Ava - Freeform, Crime, F/M, MCR, My Chem, Way - Freeform, gerard - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-16 11:09:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3486011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AAW/pseuds/AAW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ava believes she has an average life, a normal life just after high school but what happens when she bumps into someone who is suppose to be dead. What he brings back with him is a recollection from a different life as it seems.</p><p>- This is a Gerard Way/ My chemical romance fan fiction. I do NOT own my chemical romance or Gerard Way. However, I do own Ava, and Jason. I do not take responsibility for any upsets of this story, you read at your own will -</p><p>Please, if you like this story than comment.</p><p>Warning: contains: violence,sex,drugs and strong scenes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hush little darling - ' This gun in my hand felt no pain, and neither do I '.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anyone who ever felt lost.](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=anyone+who+ever+felt+lost.).



“Hush little darling don't say a word “I cooed softly, as I dragged her by the arm into the alley behind me.  
Her blond hair fell against her shoulders softly, as I knelt down in front of her and saw my own reflection in her eyes. I knelt there quietly in sudden thought, and had an almost sudden urge to turn away from my own reflection, it disappeared anyway, as tears fell from her pale green eyes.  
" if I let go, you have to promise not to scream, “I whispered.  
I looked around me to make sure no one was around. I felt like I was in a cliche horror movie, and only now did I understand the full urgency for her to shut up. Of course, no one would be around, this was Jersey and being out in this area, at this time of night would be a death wish; Unlucky for her.  
All I saw were shadows created from the dim light of the lone street lamps, the only witness to this tragic night.  
She nodded her head in haste. So I slowly removed my hand from her mouth.  
" What do you want from me! “She said quickly.  
I chuckled slightly and stood up.  
" I only want to hurt You Josie “I cooed back.  
She then stopped crying and said.  
" How do you know my name? "  
I rolled my eyes and mimicked her voice in slight annoyance; the amusement was now over for me. She then began to cry again as I approached her.  
" I didn’t do anything! “She screamed.  
I quickly put my hand to her mouth again.  
" I said no screaming, “I hissed angrily.

Grabbing my torch, I shone it on my face so Josie could see me. When she did, she gasped.  
" That’s right “I said darkly.  
Her eyes widened before saying ever so fast.  
" I am so sorry! I never meant to hurt him! Or You”  
It was sickening how she immediately knew what I was here for, almost like she was waiting for this day, or desperately praying that it would never arise.

Josie was referring to My Brother. You see, We all just graduated from High school, a year ago in fact. Therefore, I thought it to be my duty to give out a little revenge or more so; avenge. Josie was the first on my list; Not only did she hurt me, but also she bashed my Brother to the point that he could have died. What did He do wrong?  
He got hurt for simply being My Brother. No one deserves that, so now it was Josie's turn to suffer.  
Being the popular girl that she was, not even I thought she would have the heart to hurt someone. Not with all those fake smiles and willingness to pretend she cared about fellow students of her time in high school.

“You had every intention. Why didn't you just take it up with me! “I yelled.  
I could already feel myself losing my calm before I intended to lose it.  
Josie tried to turn away from me, but I quickly gripped her jaw, and forced her to look at me. She watched me in what I hoped to god was pure terror, and  
Before She could say a word. I shot her. Only once, it is all it took.  
I slowly let go of her body as it fell against the cold brick wall, where only moments ago, fear laced her breath, and her eyes screamed for help. Now her eyes where vacant and stained. I stared at her as this moment was held for me.  
This gun in my hand felt no pain, and neither did I, as the story goes.


	2. Such an awful fuck - ' Oh thankyou '.

I bet your thinking that I'm horrible, and a murderer. You're right, I am a murderer, and horrible I am, but with reason.  
You see, I'm dead, or that’s what the world thinks. In high school I had never fit in, I was always a ' Queer ' or a ' Loser or just plain scum, we both were. I could deal with that, but the students couldn't. My Brother always took allot of beatings on my behalf. We stayed quiet still, and never bothered anyone.

It was graduation night, and I was taking my brother out to the beach with me to celebrate, we were going to have a few drinks, nothing special.Mikey went to go piss, He was taking too long so I decided to try to find him. When I did, He had been beaten badly, and could barely speak. When I quickly shot my head up to look around, I saw five people advancing towards me. One of them was Josie. I looked at Mikey, and whispered for him to ' stay down '. I knew I was going to get hurt, and I didn't want him to get hurt again once they found out that He was conscious. I would have defended myself but five against one is not something you win without some kind of weapon, so I closed my eyes. No words could describe the pain that ripped through me as they tortured me. I thought that this was the end, and hoped that Mikey would survive.

When I woke, I was in a small bed with an old man staring at me. When I asked him what happened. He said that He found me washed up on some beach, close to my home town. Apparently He had, had me there for five months while I was in a coma. Within that time, my body had healed of its wounds.  
When He asked who I was, I Lied, and told him that I didn't know. I had already figured that I was dead back home. I stayed with him for a year, and within that year...* I planned my future as an unknown.  
So Here I am now. I can't go back to my old life, and I can't tell my family that, I am alive. That would only put them in danger now. * This revenge is perfect because a dead person can't kill.

I do not feel guilt; they killed me or so they thought. So they deserve to die as well. After all, life is nothing but a joke. It was to them. So let us see who is laughing now.

Without a second glance, I walked away from the scene I created, and into the night.


	3. One year ago today - ' One day can make your life: one year can change a lifetime '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse the occasional typos people, this story was written a while ago now and I have edited so many times that honestly I don't want to do it again. Let me know though if it bothers you and I will edit it.

* Ava's point of view *

" Don't call me on the fucking intercom! “I snapped.  
I felt a slight hint of anger within me, as I hear giggles coming from the other end. Not the anger feelings of being angry exactly, just the ones of slight agitation that anyone tends to get with a best friend. I just moved into my first apartment. It’s actually a Duplex styled apartment. I really liked it. It was in a bad part of New Jersey, and I had to beg my parents to let Me have it. It was cheap, and I wanted so badly to get out of home. So here I was trying not to kill Jamia. She was my best friend, and she rented the flat downstairs, which was the main reason for wanting this particular apartment. I wanted to move here.

“Why can't I call you on the intercom?” Jamia said.  
She now stood in front of me at the front door.  
I laughed.  
" because you shouldn't be so lazy. You only live down one flight of stairs! “I said.  
She sat down on my new second hand sofa.  
" that’s a long way away “Jamia said quite seriously.  
I rolled my eyes slightly, and joined her on the sofa.  
This was so perfect. After jumping around like two sugar hyped children, I decided that we were both going to celebrate; Pizza seemed like the perfect thing, except instead I decided to get it delivered to my new address. Jamia laughed at me when the pizza was delivered, The pizza person was someone I punched in junior high, and I felt embarrassed. I was teased in school allot, I never fit in; School was only a year ago today, and I still felt like I hadn't grown up. I still wore all the stuff I used to. One year is a lot though. In a year, a whole lifetime of events can change. Today, for example was the anniversary of the ‘Way ‘event.

One year ago on prom night there were two boys. The ‘Way Brothers’; Consisting of Gerard Way and, Mikey Way. Gerard was the black sheep of the school, He was called a ‘queer ‘, ‘Goth ‘and, a loser. Everyone knew that he was just the ‘high school misfit’. We all have them; I was one. Mikey was his brother so he got the other end of Gerard’s teasing. On prom night they found Mikey’s body at the beach. He was badly beaten. Lucky he survived but Gerard’s body went missing, and hasn’t been found since. In one year, high school’s definition of innocent bullying went to new levels. The police figured it was another Jersey crime of being, in the wrong place at the wrong time. So without leads, the case went cold, as we all left school, and went on to college, and jobs, I guess everybody just moved on. Mikey, and his family disappeared not long after he recovered. I never knew Gerard or Mikey. I saw them at school from time to time, and was teased as frequently as they were. This incident does not affect my life too much, I do not remember allot of high school, which was a bit puzzling, but I don't try to question, too much of a good thing. This time of year, I remember it though, and always think how painful, and unfair high school can be. It’s the worst place to spend your teenage years. Though, without high school we never learn to defend ourselves against each other.

After eating, Jamia decided to go back downstairs. So I decided to go to sleep in my new room. It wasn't a huge room but it fit my double bed in it and had the bathroom attached next to it. I was happy that I had the space to put my posters up.  
I hated lying in bed, It was the only time that every memory I had would throw itself at me; they would keep me up all night, every night.  
I woke up to the sound of my intercom buzzing; it was right above my bed. Convenient right?  
“Yeah " I mumbled.  
I could barely open my eyes, and the sun shone through my window. I would have to fix that.  
" Wake up Ava! Frank is here! “Jamia said with enthusiasm.  
I then sat up quickly. I had not seen Frank since after Graduation; He went to California with his parents for a year.  
I quickly pulled some clothes on,and ran out of my door, and down the stairs. I knocked loudly on Jamia's door until she opened it. When I saw Frank, I pounced on him, and hugged him tightly. Frank giggled slightly, and held me to him. Finally after a minute, I let go.  
" Nice clothing choice Ava “He said.  
I looked down, and realized I was only wearing a shirt and panties.  
“Shut up!” I snapped playfully.  
Before He could speak, I said.  
" Oh! Tattoos! ".  
Frank had new tattoos all up his arm. He had what He called “the patron saint of switchblade fights “on his arm.,I stared in awe, I wanted tattoos but hadn't actually done it yet. Frank definitely hadn’t changed since I last saw him, He still had his nose, and lip piercings. Punk rock never left his style, not even when it went out of style. The only new thing was his tattoos, and his slight growth spurt. He was still extremely short though.  
"I already knew!” Jamia teased.  
I rolled my eyes and said.  
" That’s because you two are dating! "  
They had been together since 9th grade, and were planning on getting engaged soon.

We all decided to go get Star bucks. It was conveniently around the corner from my new place. As we sat and drank, the news came on with report of a murder.  
" Oh Jersey I missed you “Frank said, raising his cup at the TV.  
Jamia, and I laughed at his sarcasm but watched intently. Apparently the body of a girl was found in an alley not far from our apartment. Great, Now I had to be careful. It then occurred to me that I knew her. Her name was Josie, and she went to school with me. She was prep, and a bitch. I felt a bit bad for not feeling sorry for her, I mean she was dead.  
“Who is she? “Jamia asked.  
I nodded my head, and said that ' I didn't know '. Jamia and Frank didn't go to my high school; they went the more ' safe ' considered schools.  
After coffee, we all decided to head back, and watch movies. I walked beside Jamia, and Frank as they hugged. They must have missed each other, it had been a year. I would have a relationship but I was complicated. When I say that, it’s something no one would understand, because I didn't really understand, but its just how I felt.


	4. Watched - ' Paranoia is not the delusion of ones mind but the work of one’s human instincts '.

Again, I couldn’t fall asleep, I had this feeling that I was being watched. Yes I know, it was most likely not realistic but I couldn't shake the feeling. I even looked outside my window. I saw nothing. Maybe it was just that little fear you get when you finally live on your own, and realize that there is no one else with you. But then again, I had Jamia and Frank downstairs and everything was securely locked. So really I think I was just being paranoid.I decided to ignore my feelings, and finally go to sleep.

I pulled my pillow over my head when realizing that it was morning, and that I actually had to go work. I guess it wasn't all bad, I worked at a record store, and music was a huge passion of mine, so working there was fun. It was the 6am start, that was the least fun.  
After finishing my second cup of coffee, I locked my doors, and walked down the street to work. It was only casual work so it wasn't an everyday thing. I still was receiving Money off My Father to make up a decent income.  
When I arrived behind the counter, I once again felt the paranoid feeling that I was being watched, but there was no one around, this was a strange constant feeling that I picked up in high school. The only person here was a customer browsing one of the music sections. A few minutes later He came to the counter with a Misfits Record.  
" Oh these guys are awesome! “I said, as I handed him his change.  
He didn't look up but raised his hand in agreement. I couldn't see his face because of the hooded jumper that He was wearing.

I was finally finished my shift for the day. It was a boring day, and wasn't very busy but I still liked it and couldn't wait until they put me on more shifts. At the moment I only filled in for the Full timer employees that called in Sick. Being as bored as I was, I decided to go see a movie, Just to fill in time.

\- Time elapse -

I looked outside the theater door and into the darkness. Night time was great, but this was New Jersey, and you would be insanely stupid to walk around on your own. Especially at night time. Being as stupid as I was, I started my short walk home in the pure darkness.  
As I walked alone I felt a chill up my spine;Following my instincts, I began to run. The more I ran the more adrenaline, and fear ripped through me. I just wanted to get home and feel safe.  
“Shit!” I mumbled.  
I came to a halt because I dropped my bag. I turned around to grab it, forgetting what I was afraid of in the first place. I went to push open the main entrance to the building. Before I had the chance to respond, to the sound of feet behind me, A hand went across my mouth, My first instinct was to scream. It proved pointless as the sound was suppressed. There was a laugh from behind me. I knew that laugh, and when I realized that, He let go of Me.  
" THAT WASN'T FUNNY FRANK! “I yelled.  
Frank quickly stood back, and tried not to laugh.  
" I'm so sorry! I was just joking “he said, in defense.  
I glared at him, and stormed through the door. I began to walk up the stairs that led to my part of the building. Frank quickly took me into a hug as he ran to me.  
" I really am sorry “He whispered.  
I sighed and let him hug Me.  
" You're still an asshole “I mumbled.  
He giggled, and let go of Me.  
" I know “He said while grinning.  
I slapped his arm playfully.  
" Anyway, I have to go pick up Jamia from work. I'll see you later "He said.  
He grabbed his jacket, and walked away into the night. Now that my heart rate had finally slowed down again, I decided to go upstairs for a shower. As I arrived at My door, I pushed My hand inside My pocket but couldn't find My key. I cursed under my breath when I realized that I most likely dropped them outside when Frank grabbed me. I ran back down the stairs, and walked back into the darkness of the night. Great. I had to find my keys in the dark, seeing as the light was broken.

I looked at my watch, and realized that it was still quite early, so a pub would be great right now. I had my scare for the night, and felt quite stupid for being so scared,  
Anyone would think that I had no regards for my safety. I was quite deep in thought when I felt my body slam into another. I quickly took a step back and apologized. Whoever it was ignored me, and started to walk away. I gave him a look of disbelief. He ran into me, I wasn’t the one that should have apologized. I ran up to him, and tapped his arm.  
“Hey! “ I snapped.  
He quickly turned around.  
“You don’t have to be so ru- “  
When he looked at me, my eyes widened immediately with shock. Forgetting my anger, I said.  
“Gerard? “  
His blank expression turned into one of shock as well.  
I mentally scolded myself, and thought how stupid I just sounded in front of a stranger. It wasn’t Gerard, He was dead.  
This was what I was thinking before he grabbed me, and pulled around the corner in haste, His grip was tight, and rather painful. When this action was taken, I looked at him again, and realized that what I said may have not been so stupid after all. He looked the same as he did a year ago, His hair was shoulder length now, His eyes still the same hazel brown;,Expressions still the same; I was surprised that I remembered his face so well. Before I could think that this wasn’t happening, He spoke.  
“How do you know my name?! “  
He even sounded the same.  
It took me a moment to speak as I tried to find the words. I just couldn’t take my eyes off him, I explored every inch of his features, as I tried to register what was happening.  
“I, uh it’s me. Ava “I mumbled.  
I wasn't really sure if he'd recognize me, because we were only acquaintances in school, but His expression turned into, what I suspected was panic. Then his eyes bore into mine with deep seriousness.  
“Don’t tell anyone you saw me “He said.  
His grip tightened on my arms as he looked at me while waiting for a response. I just kept staring at him, and without thinking, I nodded my head, meaning ‘yes ‘. I cleared my mind long enough to want to ask him what was happening. As my mouth opened, I realized that he was gone. I took a step back in shock, and immediately looked around; Looking for Gerard. I looked at the ground, and found a piece of paper. I picked it up and saw a written address. The paper was ripped so I couldn’t see the full address. I pocketed the paper, and immediately decided that, what I had saw, never happened. I only thought I saw this happen because of the stress of moving, and the knowledge of the anniversary of his death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think?


	5. You won't have to - ' Curiosity killed the cat. What brought it back?'.

I woke up as the sun shone strongly through my windows. It had been a long night of trying to come up with explanations, to try and ease my mind. My eyes immediately shot to the torn piece of paper, that rested beside my pillow. I inched my hand slowly towards it almost like it had something wrong with it. I squeezed my eyes shut as my I felt the rough paper against my hand. This paper was the only thing that made me even consider, that this event had really happened.  
I spent the morning with my gaze constantly on this one piece of paper. Even my morning coffee wasn’t enough to put my mind at ease, Not for a second. I chewed at lip as explanations played through my mind, Nothing made sense, Not the note, Not Gerard.  
It was now mid day; I stared out of the window trying to figure what to do, I didn’t even have anyone to tell so I could be at ease. Neither Jamia, nor Frank knew who Gerard was, or that he was supposed to be dead.  
The Police, That is what I will do. If that was really Gerard I saw, then surely this paper had his finger prints. If this hand writing was his then the police could confirm my sighting. My only question was; why did he ask me not to tell? Was I the only one that knew that he could be alive? If I was, then this was not fair to anyone that knew him, and someone has to know. Maybe then, I could believe this is real.

I turned left down the street. This was the direction of the police station, I maintained a fast walking pace. I always felt nervous when I walked alone; Never mind, I always felt nervous. I continued to walk fast as I saw the station up ahead.  
This had to be done.  
I began to walk through the small tunnel that lead the other side of the road. It was there so people could avoid traffic. This was because there had been so many deaths from people crossing that busy road. I looked cautiously ahead of myself, I never liked how dark that tunnel was; even in broad daylight it was still dark. I was not one to be afraid, but in this damn town, I was always cautious. Either way I still needed to walk through it to get to the other side.  
I entered the tunnel, and instantly began to walk with my head down.

I exited the tunnel, and leaned against the wall in attempt to get my breath back. When finally being able to breathe again. I walked up brown concrete stairs and into the police station’s building. After walking through the doors, I felt safe.

I walked over to the front counter, and waited as the receptionist was on the phone. I slowly tapped my fingers on the table to try and grab her attention. She looked at me but continued to speak. Whatever she was speaking about didn't sound like work. As I grew impatient, I cleared my throat loudly. She looked at me again, I made sure I gave her a look. Finally. After staring at her, she hung up.  
" How may I help you? “She said. I looked at her smartly dressed cliché reception attire.  
Even I could pick up the sarcasm in her voice, but I decided to ignore It.  
" can I please see one of the Sergeant’s? "  
After a minute of typing she said.  
" You will have to wait half an hour "  
I sighed slightly, and nodded my head.  
I was certain I saw her smile sarcastically at me.

I didn't like the cold walls, and the weird feeling that I felt inside the building. So I decided to go wait outside for a while where it was warmer and more open.

I looked around, and finally spotted a tree that was away from everyone. I really didn't feel comfortable when I was in or near crowds of people. That was an anti social behavior that I picked up from being so secluded in high school. I sat down under the shade of a tree, and pulled the note out again. I was so curious to know what was happening, and why it was happening. I looked at my watch, and sighed. How was I going to tell them that Gerard Way was still alive? .All I had was this note, and it still did not hold enough proof on it. His fingerprints would help. I rested my head against the tree, and just waited.  
When I opened my eyes again, I looked at my watch. I had ten minutes until I had to go inside, and try to tell them that someone who was supposed to be dead for a year is in fact alive.  
" How am I going to do this? “I whispered to myself.  
“You won't have to "  
As I turned around to see who said that, My head was smashed against the tree.  
At that point, everything faded to black.


	6. Kidnapped - ' Stubbornness will always get you in trouble. I know this.'.

When I came back into consciousness, I shot my eyes open. As pain ripped through my head, I quickly regretted that decision.  
I looked around at my surroundings, and did my best to take it in. By instinct I moved my hands in attempt to feel my head. I tried to raise my head to look at my hands, which were tightly tied with an old rope to a bedpost. I squeezed my eyes shut in pain as I tried to pull them out. The wiry rope rubbed against my skin roughly. I opened my eyes again ,and looked around, I was in a lightly lit room. One beam of sunlight shone through a tiny window. With the last remaining sun light, I decided to take in as much as I could. The room was covered in all sorts of different drawings. Some, memorabilia. Some, home drawn. By the look of it, Everything was cluttered: Stacks of books, and records were against walls. If I wasn’t mistaken, I was quite positive that this was a bedroom. As this thought passed me, I then flashed back to what happened before I was taken. It then occurred to me, I had been kidnapped.

I quickly snapped out of my thoughts, and looked at the door as the knob began to turn. The door opened and someone moved into the room, closing the door behind them.  
My eyes widened when I saw that it was Gerard. Not knowing what to say, I just watched him closely as He grabbed the chair next to his desk, and sat beside me.  
He was wearing a plain black shirt and faded grey jeans. I continued to stare at him as He stared at me intently with his hazel eyes.

“Do you know why your here?” He asked.  
The silence was now broken.  
I felt like I was in a principal’s office getting in trouble, Except in a principals office you wouldn't be tied to a bed, or injured for that matter.  
I glared at him, and said.  
" no ".  
His gaze didn’t even flicker away from me, Not for a second.  
" think! “He snapped.  
I flinched slightly at the sudden raising of his voice.  
" I was at the police station? “I tried.  
Gerard clapped his hands together, and then sat back into his chair. He then sat forward in a stiff manor.  
" Now why would you want to do that? “He said darkly, but with a hint of sarcasm.  
I continued to glare at him, and looked away.  
I watched him stand up, and walk to the other side of the bed, He then pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket.  
He scrunched it up, and threw it at me.  
" Did you really think you were smart enough to get away with this? “He snapped.  
The smell of his breathe hit my face, It was a mixture of coffee,and cigarettes.  
I went silent, and refused to speak.  
Gerard watched me closely.  
" I didn’t think so “He said.  
When He finished, I spat in his face.  
I closed my eyes in pain as his hand slapped my cheek, Hard.  
I winced as pain shot through my cheek. Gerard wiped his eye angrily, where I spat, and stormed out of the room.

I gave up struggling. In any situation close to this, it always proved pointless, and was guarantee to get you hurt, or worse; That ruled out screaming as well. I continued to look around; All I could do was wait, but not for long.  
Gerard stormed through the door again, and dropped an ice pack on the bed. This was still surreal. I didn’t even think why I would be here.  
“So that’s it? You’re just going to keep me here for nothing?! “I snapped.  
Gerard shot me a glare, His glare could make a grown man drop to his knees. I tried to disguise my fear by staring at him without a hint of blinking.  
“Just shut up! “He snapped.  
He looked frustrated.  
I went to speak again.  
Before a full word could form from my mouth, He put a finger up, and hushed me.  
Gerard walked over to me.  
I flinched as he snatched the paper from beside me, He nodded his head slightly as he brought a lit lighter to it. He dropped it in the waste bin beside the desk, and watched it burn. A flicker of hope died within me as I also watched.  
“I have to go to the bathroom” I said.  
Gerard’s eyes flickered to mine as I pulled at the rope again. I could feel how raw it was becoming against my skin.  
“No “  
I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration, and then opened them again.  
“Fine, I’ll do it here “I said stubbornly.  
Fear filled me as he advanced towards me.  
“You wouldn’t fucking dare! “ He hissed.  
Despite the situation I was in, I raised my eyebrows at him, and gave him a look that even he knew, was pure stubbornness.  
I wasn’t going to bow down to a person who thinks it would be okay to take someone against their will. Before yesterday I didn’t even know that this person was possibly alive. I’m certain I’m the only one that knows.

Without a word he untied my hands, and grabbed them before I even had the chance to think of pulling them away.  
“I’m going with you then “he said in a stubborn tone.  
I squirmed in pain as his grip was tight. He pulled me harshly up a set the stairs. Despite the fast pace I was being forced to walk, I still managed to look around as we moved through the house; The walls were brown with age.  
The walls were covered in shapes of what I assumed used to be photo frames. There was a lack of furniture, and a TV sitting on a crate that sat in front of an aged sofa.  
Gerard pushed me in front him as we walked up another flight if stairs to the second story of the old family home.  
I stood in front of the toilet.  
“Well go! “ Gerard snapped.  
I nodded my head meaning ‘no ‘.  
“Not with you watching! “ I snapped back.  
I saw his jaw clench, and as his hands turned red from the tight grip he had on my left arm.  
Without saying a word he turned to face the door but didn’t leave the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Thoughts?


	7. Let me go - ' You know your right when you’re playing with fire '.

Gerard walked me down the staircase, and into a room that contained a standard white table with chairs, a fridge, and a stove top. When ever this house was last occupied, I guessed it was the kitchen. I still felt fear, and rage serge through me, I couldn’t believe this was happening ,and I wasn’t ready to accept it anytime soon. Gerard ran a hand through his hair, and his expression dropped, He looked slightly awkward.  
“Are you hungry? “ He mumbled.  
I raised my eyebrows slightly and looked at him, why he would bother trying to be nice all of a sudden.  
“No” I said, bitterly.  
Gerard let go of my arm, and walked away.  
“There’s food in the cupboard “  
I watched him walk to the basement with a shock look planted across my face.

Even though it was obvious that I had been kidnapped, I couldn’t stop my need to eat. When I was sure that Gerard had left, I had two pieces of toast. There was nothing to have on them. As I sat awkwardly at the kitchen table, I looked around myself hoping to find some sort of escape. I though back to my new apartment, and then to Jamia and Frank, My two best friends, the people I started my new life with. I wondered if they had realized that I was missing yet, Jamia would have surely called the police. She always was in my apartment looking for me, Was Jamia and Frank worried yet? Was there a search team out looking for me? I wasn’t even sure how long I’d been here. Who knows how long I had been in this house since I came to consciousness. I felt panic rise within me as all these thoughts raced through my head. It was now that I realized the full extend of what was actually happening. There is no way I’m just going to stand here, and let Gerard think this was okay, I only barely knew him a year ago. I never would have thought this was happening. To make things even worse, the world does not even know how very much alive, Gerard Way was.  
I snapped out of my thoughts, and took another look around before going to find my captor.  
When reaching the bottom step I slowly pushed the door open to see Gerard sitting at a desk reading with a small lamp in the top corner of the desk.  
“Why are you doing this? “ I asked said slowly.  
He didn’t even look up from the book.  
“Did you eat? “ He asked.  
I looked at him seriously as he so obviously ignored my question, and kept reading.  
“Answer me! “ I snapped.  
His eyes tore away from the book, and onto me.  
“I said did you fucking eat!? “ He said.  
I stared directly at him trying to show no signs of fear, No matter how stubborn I was going to be, it still couldn’t direct my fear away from the one person who took me away from everything. I did not even know what he was capable of, and if I was going to survive. I flinched slightly as Gerard walked right over to me until he was inches away from me.  
“You’re so fucking stubborn you know that?! “ He hissed.  
My heart raced as I didn’t know what to expect.  
“Just let me go “I tried.  
He giggled slightly but with full sarcasm intended.  
“No “He said coldly.  
I breathed out heavily and stomped my foot while forgetting the situation I was in, It was too late before I said.  
“You’re a fucking asshole! “  
I quickly ran out of the room, and slammed the door behind me. I quickly began to run up the stairs as I heard the door hit the wall as it swung open violently, Heavy foot steps followed behind me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	8. A family home - ' A child lost is a broken family '.

I was yanked backwards violently, and pulled to face Gerard, His face only inches from my own.  
“Tread lightly Ava” He said calmly.  
He let go of my arm, pushing me lightly in the process. He stared at me momentarily before walking back into his room.  
My heart was still beating furiously, I was almost positive I was going to be hurt, When he didn’t hurt me, I was surprised. As much as I wanted to accept his warning, another part of me was not going to accept this situation, and I’d rather die trying. I had to know why I was here, nothing made sense.  
I walked cautiously back into his room, and saw him at the desk again, It was almost like this scene was on replay.  
“Can’t you just tell me why I’m here? “ I said.  
I stood in his doorway, and stared at him. Gerard sighed and lifted his head off the table.  
“ I can’t “  
I narrowed my eyes at him as these words came out, He looked so serious, and I knew I should not question anymore for now, some how I would find out what was happening, and with this thought I left the room, and walked up the stairs to the living room. I looked around at all the boarded windows.  
“What are you doing?”  
I turned around, Gerard was standing behind me.  
“Like you deserve to know “I mumbled, under my breath.  
He clenched his jaw.  
“Come on “He said coldly.  
Before I could protest, He grabbed my arm and pulled me through the living room, and up the stairs to the second floor of the old family home. He pushed me into a room, and quickly exited. I ran to the door as it closed in front of me.  
“Let me out! “ I tried.  
I heard a key locking the door, Followed by Gerard walking away, I let my body slide against the door and onto the floor. I was so confused and frustrated that all I could do was cry; I had to find out something. I looked around the room ,and saw a single bed; the walls had old posters on the walls, Some ripped.  
I was in another bedroom, and It then occurred to me that this is Gerard’s Family home, I had heard that they left soon after Gerard’s disappearance, and for a slight second I felt sorry for him. That quickly changed as I remembered the last 48 hours. All I knew so far was that there was a reason why Gerard didn’t want me to tell, obviously.

Time Elapse –

My eyes shot open when the door opened, I adjusted my eyes and looked around, and it was night time apparent from the lack of any sunlight.  
Gerard sat on the edge of the bed.  
“I got some more food downstairs so go down and eat “He said.  
He looked directly at me.  
I nodded my head, meaning ‘no’. He shook his head slightly in annoyance.  
“Look! I don’t care how much you don’t like this situation. You have to eat! “He said.  
I looked at him in disbelief, and sat up on the mattress.  
“I don’t like this situation?! “I Snapped.  
I quickly stood up in anger.  
“Of course not you kidnapped me! “I Yelled.  
I quickly stood back as Gerard’s breathing increased; He just sat there breathing hard so I relaxed a little.  
“Even you know this is wrong “I said.  
I didn’t bother waiting for a response, and walked down the stairs. I looked at the bags on the kitchen table, and saw more bread, and other groceries; I raised an eyebrow slightly as I saw females spray perfume, and a hairbrush.  
“You need those, right? “  
I jumped slightly, and turned around to face Gerard.  
“Yeah “I said quietly.  
I sat down at the table, and sighed, Followed but resting my head against the table. I shouldn’t be here, and neither should Gerard.


	9. Some questions are better left unanswered.

It was now day three, (I think),in this abandoned house, and I was still curious if Jamia, or Frank were worried yet, there had to be someone looking for me, right? I opened my eyes and looked around, I then realized I was in Gerard’s room. I quickly turned around to face Gerard; He opened his eyes slightly when feeling the tug of the sheets as they twisted around my body when I turned.  
“You feel asleep last night, and I didn’t want to disturb you “He mumbled.  
It was almost like he read my mind; I looked down at my body ,and almost sighed when seeing that my clothes were still on. It relieved me that he hadn’t violated me since he took me, I really hoped he wouldn’t, I think that was the scariest thing next to death. I quickly stood on my feet, and scratched my messy hair as I felt awkward.  
I walked out of the room seeing as the door was unlocked, and hurried to the bathroom, I locked the door behind me. I had to find a way out, Maybe there was a loose window board or something. I had a quick shower,and pulled on the clothes that I had now been wearing for the past three days, I grabbed the spray Gerard had gotten for me, and sprayed my clothes; they smelt like rose and sandalwood. I wish I could stay locked away from Gerard in this bathroom all day but I knew he would most likely come looking for me soon.  
I sat quietly at kitchen table, and stared at my hands in my lap as Gerard sipped on his coffee.  
I sighed.  
Gerard looked up at me, and pushed a cup towards me, I nodded my head, meaning ‘no’. I hadn’t eaten since my first day here, and each day that past, I lost my appetite more, I didn’t even want to drink, but the coffee smelt good. I took the cup cautiously; the strong smell of coffee beans were the only think that confirmed that this was real.  
“Is the story true? “ I mumbled.  
Gerard frowned slightly.  
“Last year on prom night, you and Mikey were ganged up on “I finished.  
He stopped frowning and sighed.  
“Yeah “He said.  
I watched him tuck his seat in and walk away; I followed him to his room. There was nothing more I wanted to do right now then to annoy him. If he wasn’t going to let me go then I wasn’t going to make this easy, if he was going to kill me then he would have done it by now which meant I might still have a chance.  
“Since your obviously not dead then where have you been for the past year? “  
I took my chances, and sat on his bed beside him; He sighed and put the comic book he was reading on the bed.  
“You’re really getting on my nerves! “ He said.  
I rolled my eyes.  
“I’m so sorry that my presence is such an inconvenience to you “I said.  
Full sarcasm intended. Gerard picked up his comic again.  
“Just tell me! “ I yelled  
He threw his comic on the floor, and put a hand across my mouth; He pushed me against the bed and straddled me.  
I struggled to breathe as my head was pushed into the pillow.  
“Don’t make me fucking hurt you! “ He spat.  
I stayed still as his body pushed down against mine.  
“Now shut up and follow me “He whispered against my ear.  
I felt his lips graze my ear slightly.  
I nodded my head quickly, He gave me one more look before moving off me, and without a word I followed him out of the room.  
I was pulled into the room I was in yesterday.  
“I’ll be back later “Gerard hissed.  
He locked me in again and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts?


	10. Pain killer.

When I was positive that Gerard was gone, I started to seriously look into ways to get out of here, this room had no windows so that was not an option. I kicked the door hard in frustration, when I did, I heard a noise. I investigated the door but saw nothing.  
It must have been two hours since Gerard went out, so time was not on my side; I kicked the door again, this time the door shifted slightly. Butterfly’s erupted in my stomach as a sign of hope ran through me. I kicked the door again, this time I pushed my body against it as well.  
I closed my eyes before turning the door knob. My eyes shot open as the door opened. My heartbeat increased as I quickly looked around before almost running out of the room, I ran down the stairs and looked around, the windows held no hope, and they were boarded up. Maybe if I kicked the front door it would open as the one up stairs did.  
I pushed my body against the door; it flew open with force, instantly I fell back against the opposite wall. From there everything went black.

time elapse –

I opened my eyes. Immediately I shut them again when I felt the pain in my head. I forced myself to open them again when I felt a hand against my head.  
“See what happens when you don’t do as you’re told “  
I glared up at Gerard as he put a warm wash cloth against my head, it felt good.  
“Take these “He said.  
He pushed two tablets past my lips; I swallowed as water was poured carefully into my mouth.  
“What happened? “ I mumbled.  
Gerard giggled slightly, this surprising me.  
“You tried to escape and I happened to be opening the door at the same time “He said.  
I closed my eyes and nodded my head.  
“You’re not mad? “ I asked.  
He nodded his head.  
“No, I knew you were going to try, you would be crazy not to” he said.  
I opened my eyes to look at him; He stared at me with a serious look in his hazel eyes.  
“It’s not going to work though. I’ll just find you again “He said darkly.  
I gulped slightly, and turned my head to face away from him.  
“Where did you go?” I asked.  
I saw an old school backpack beside the bed with a black shirt sitting on top of it.  
“Stop asking questions “He said.  
I looked at him as he lay beside me, His eyes watching me closely.  
“The popular group never really liked us did they “I said.  
Gerard narrowed his eyes at me, almost like I knew something he didn’t.  
“What? “He said back.  
I closed my eyes in pain.  
“The ones who attacked you and Mikey, They never liked the ones like us “I said.  
I watched him as he opened his mouth.  
“ different “He mumbled.  
I nodded my head.  
Gerard quickly snapped out of whatever state of mind he was going through and stood. He exited the room and took the backpack with him.

Not long after he left the painkillers started to work, when the pain vanished, I started to feel sleepy.  
Just as I began to fall asleep, I was forced to wake up. I opened my eyes as Gerard shook my arms.  
“What!? “ I snapped.  
I momentarily forgot the situation I was in.  
“When was the last time you ate? “ He asked.  
I felt sleepy; I shrugged my shoulders in response, Seconds after my response I felt two hands slip under my body. I made a whiney noise as I was picked up bridal style off the bed, everything began to go slightly fuzzy so I rested my head against Gerard’s shoulder, and attempted to go to sleep.


	11. EAT.

I opened my eyes, and immediately pulled back; Gerard struggled with me for a second but let me on my own two feet again.  
“What are you doing?!” I asked.  
I was in a daze, and had no idea what was going on, for a second I had no idea who he was but when I let down onto my feet, I suddenly remembered. Gerard put a bowl on the table and pushed me to sit down.  
“You need to eat “he said quietly.  
He grabbed a spoon and shoved it between my fingers; I went silent and stared at the back of his head as he walked away.  
I tore away and focused my gaze onto the bowl in front of me; I pushed the flakes of cereal with the spoon. I rested a hand temporarily on my stomach; I wasn’t hungry and was positive at this point that I would never want to eat again. I ignored the aching feeling in my stomach and rested my head against the table; I just didn’t feel the energy to do anything.

“Ava!”  
Without opening my eyes, I mumbled in response to hearing my name faintly in the distance. A strong hand pulled on my shoulder, forcing me to lift my head up off the table.  
“Answer me!”  
I slowly focused my eyes on to the person in front of me.  
Gerard had a worried frown as he scanned my face while waiting for a response from me.  
“I hate you” I mumbled.  
I really meant it but the feeling of pure tiredness washed over me yet again, I didn’t even have the energy to fight when I was lifted out of the chair, and into Gerard’s arms again.  
I fell onto the bed, and snuggled the closest pillow I could find.  
I squirmed when Gerard sat on the side of the bed; He had a bowl in his hand. I nodded my head in deep protest as he tried to push a spoon full of cereal past my lips. I just wanted to sleep.  
“Open your fucking mouth!” Gerard snapped.  
I nodded my head again, and buried my face into a pillow. I winced in pain as my arms were painfully pulled to turn me onto my back. Before I could pull away, Gerard straddled me, He pinned my arms to my side with his legs.  
“Get off me!” I snapped.  
Without warning the spoon was shoved into my mouth, Gerard’s hand covered my mouth tightly, I looked up at Gerard as I was forced to swallow the food.

“There! It wasn’t that bad” Gerard said.  
He got off me, and sat on the side of the bed. Before he could speak I sat up, and vomited over the edge of the bed, and into the waste bin, Gerard quickly grabbed my shoulders to hold me back before I got off the bed, He pushed me onto my back again, I looked at him as he watched me intently.  
“Just let me go” I whispered.  
He continued to watch me.  
“Please” I whispered.  
With that, He left.

Time elapse –

When I woke up again, I came to the realization that Gerard was gone again, With not knowing when he would be back I decided to go turn the TV on, I figured once I learned the patterns of his absence then maybe that would be a better time to start trying to find a way out. I let my body fall onto the old sofa as the news came on, I squinted my eyes, obviously not used to the bright colors of the screen, something that I was usually used too but now not even seeing sunlight made it hard to focus on anything bright. I focused on the news report when seeing the face in the corner of the screen, I listened as the news’s reporter talked of another murder that happened yesterday, and I knew that face. He was also from the high school me, and Gerard attended, I watched intently. It was now the second murder, and if I wasn’t already in a dangerous situation then I would be scared. I wonder if Jamia was watching this now and wondering whether I was linked to any of this. The front door opened.  
I quickly turned around to see Gerard walking into the house before shutting the door, I sighed as I quickly saw the world outside being shut out again, Gerard gave me a surprised look before dropping his backpack.  
“You’re awake” he said.  
Before waiting for a response, he walked away from me, and up too the second floor of the house, I was quick on his trail as I followed him. I grabbed his arm before he entered the bathroom, He turned around, and looked down at me, and I focused my attention to the blood smeared across his nose, and left hand. I went to touch his face as if to see if it was real, Gerard instantly pulled back, and went to the sink.  
“What happened?! “ I asked.  
He watched me intently from the reflection of the mirror, and wiped his face, I frowned when seeing no wound on his freshly wiped face.  
“How did you get that blood on you?”  
Gerard continued to stare at me. It was then that another sinking feeling came from the pit of my stomach.  
“What did you do!?” I snapped.  
Gerard put a towel over his shoulder, and still remained silent as he wiped the other blood mark off his hand.  
My breathing increased, He was going to kill me. I quickly ran down the stairs, and to the front door where I began to pound the door as hard as I could while shouting for help, I quickly tore away from the door as I heard Gerard running from behind me, He grabbed me tightly, and pulled me to the ground with him, His hand went tightly across my mouth.  
“Shut the fuck up! I’m not going to kill you” He hissed, angrily.  
I bit his hand hard, making him withdraw his hand from my mouth. I could still hear the news report on the TV. There was now breaking news of a new murder. Gerard quickly focused on the report; I went quiet, and listened to the details, when noticing that it distracted Gerard. Another body was found no less than three hours ago in an alley way, she was a female, and immediately I recognized her, I watched Gerard as he stared at the screen intently. I then started to think. Everyone that was murdered was from Graduation last year, No one had a clue on which the murderer was, and these kids where from the ‘way family ‘incident. My eyes widened, and I looked at Gerard again, I should have realized when I was kidnapped.  
“It’s you”  
Gerard tore his gaze from the TV and looked at me.  
“What?” he said.  
I gave him a fearful look, and repeated. When hearing those words again I felt anger.  
“IT’S YOU!” I shouted.  
Gerard pushed his body against mine, and covered my mouth again; I struggled violently beneath him and managed to move.  
“You can’t just do that!” I snapped.  
He went silent.  
I pushed myself as far away from him as I could until I backed into a wall, from there I watched him. Not one thing had changed about Gerard since high school; the same high school loser looked back at me.  
“Is it true?” I whispered.  
He hesitated but nodded his head slowly in agreement; I closed my eyes in frustration.  
“Are you going to kill me too?” I asked.  
As my eyes were shut I felt numb, and none of this felt real.  
“Your only here because you saw me “Gerard said.  
He grabbed my arm, and pulled me roughly to my feet.  
“What makes you think this is okay for you to do?! ‘ I snapped.  
I must have tugged a nerve because I was pulled roughly to face Gerard.  
“NO! Thinking its okay to try and kill two high school boys is wrong! “  
I saw the anger in his eyes as he inched from me.  
“You should have gone to the police!” I snapped.  
I felt pain as Gerard’s hand connected with my cheek, the impact sending me backwards, and against the wall behind me


	12. I don't care.

Gerard stormed off; I wiped a tear off my cheek, and forced myself to follow him.  
“So is that it? You don’t like hearing that, what you’re doing is wrong, so you hit me?”  
He quickly turned to face me. We were standing on the last four stairs on the way to the basement.  
“I swear you better back off” Gerard growled.  
I spat in his face, the last thing I saw was his fist connect with my face.

Time elapse –

I opened my eyes and looked around, it was dark. I felt the blankets over my body. Gerard lay beside me, the pain I was meant to feel was absent, it was meant to be there but something stronger within blocked it.  
“You do realize that any chance of you having a life is now ruined “I said.  
I wasn’t really expecting an answer, and was surprised when Gerard spoke from beside me.  
“The chance I had of a life was ruined from the beginning of high school “  
I turned to face him; His eyes fell on my cheek where I could imagine was damaged from his hands.  
“From high school until now feels no different. Except now I don’t have to explain myself to anyone “He said quietly.  
I stared at him, and saw nothing but Gerard; it was soon taken over by the new memories created in my mind of him being a murderer, and my kidnapper. With these thoughts, I turned away from him, and forced my eyes shut.

I woke up, and still couldn’t find the will to want to get out of bed; Gerard snored lightly from beside me. I looked around and saw that darkness was still across the sky, I pulled a blanket free with me, and left to sleep on the floor.

I woke up in a fright, and stared at Gerard as he shook my body.  
“What are you doing on the floor?”  
I let my head rest against the pillow, I was still half asleep.  
“I don’t want to be in the same bed as you “I said coldly.  
I was positive that I saw a hurt look come across his face before he left me, and went back to his own bed.

time elapse –

The moment I entered the kitchen, I never said a word to Gerard.  
“Come and eat something “  
My eyes landed on Gerard as he drank his coffee, Something he did every morning so far. I nodded my head in disagreement.  
“Fine see if I care” He mumbled.  
I raised my eyebrows. I couldn’t believe I was hearing this.  
“What makes you think that I would do anything for you? Or even care if you approved!? “I snapped.  
Gerard stood up.  
“You’re a monster! “ I finished.  
With those words still lingering, I stormed off into the room Gerard frequently locked me into.  
After hearing the front door slam I finally exited the room. The back pack that remained usually at the front door was gone; I knew where he going and it was only a matter of time before another news headline came onto the television. I switched the TV on and waited, I wondered how long until I was on the headlines. Everyday this had played on my mind, each day it was more of a reality.  
I had a wave of emotion that I did not want. I looked around desperately to try and find some answer to make the feeling go away, to make it numb. Almost like solution being handed to me, there it was. Sitting on the table beside the fridge was a bottle; I opened the bottle, and smelt the strong almost sickening smell of Bourbon. Yet the smell was sweet to my senses, and my body almost yearned the affects, and the feeling it gave; without a glass or the regard that this bottle was not mine, I sat down on the sofa again, and fixed my eyes onto the television, and waited. I opened the bottle, and took my first mouthful. The burning down my throat wasn’t enough to stop me from another swig, I turned the television up and not long after that, those sinking emotions exited my body, and where replaced by absent thoughts, and the sweet intakes of the imagination; I closed my eyes, and just listened to the TV sounding in the background. My mind spun like a carousel, Opening my eyes just made everything to still, too quickly. For a moment I didn’t even remembered where I was, I didn’t even care.

I was quickly brought back to reality when I felt my body being shaken; I opened my eyes to see Gerard. Even though I knew I was drunk, that feeling returned to the very pit of my stomach, and that sweet escape was now ruined by the Meer sight of him.  
“What is wrong with you!?”  
He didn’t wait for an answer, and immediately looked at the bottle, the empty bottle sitting beside the sofa.  
“Are you trying to kill yourself!? “ Gerard snapped.  
He grabbed the bottle ,and pulled me to my feet.  
“I was waiting for your latest to come across the news”  
These words were laced with sarcasm and Gerard knew it. He stared at me with his hazel eyes.  
“I think it’s time you go to bed” He said quietly.  
Without protest, I let him pick me up bridal style, my head spun again, and the sinking feeling once again disappeared.  
“Do you enjoy it? “ I asked.  
Gerard finished putting the blanket over my body.  
“Enjoy what? “ He asked.  
I glared at him.  
“The body’s you slay “I said darkly.  
His eyes immediately flickered onto me, His breath was increasing. His body was close enough for me to feel the tension rising between us.  
He pushed his boots off and lay beside me.  
“Do you enjoy abusing yourself like this? “He asked.  
I opened my eyes, and watched the world stay still once again.  
“Yes” I answered.  
Gerard looked at me and touched my face, I pulled away.  
“Don’t touch me “  
He nodded his head slightly, and turned around to face the other way.


End file.
